My pic is from 9-2017.
I come to AZ. every winter in Nov. LHC. Currently in MT. Sometimes I feel like those guys you see holding the cardboard signs down at Walmart. Just sadness. Some might be scammers but others have a story. A sadness God cant even take away & Ive been touched by the hand of God many times. Everyone is told to put on their happy face here. Me? I just call a spade a spade. Less of course I trip over one in the dark. Then it takes the form of a BLANK-ing shovel! Oww! That hurt!
I learned last winter, in life people dont come to another for answers for their problems, they come for understanding. A book, a video, a Ouija board (YIKES!) can give you answers but only a human heart can give that compassionate understanding. I put the sadness part in intentionally. Maybe to throw you for a loop? Do you know what it means to create a context of well being in a relation in-spite of the situation or only look at the content, get triggered & react? Everyday isnt a rainbow.
Can you think outside the circle? (like I just did)
How many guys could take a pile of lumber & build you a house, put your car in the garage & fix the brakes, go in the kitchen & make supper, then build a fire in the fireplace, get out his acoustic guitar & entertain you a bit, then sit with you on the sofa & talk about something besides sports?
To which you might respond; I already have a house, car is new, brakes are fine. Rather go out to eat, I dont have a fireplace, I prefer hard electric rock & roll. I do have a sofa so you got me with that one, but I happen to love talking about sports! Houza bout them Yankees last night, EH?
No match there.
What makes your nose tingle, your lip quiver? What do you want the rest of your life to look like? Can you make the distinction between knowing something about yourself vs noticing something about yourself, thats enlightenment, where it begins & intention vs. desire? Theres a difference.
Too much comfort, the predictability, the routines in our lives, kills the human spirit. We are first spiritual beings, then human beings, then gender.
Can you explain this? I love you & I know it. What I want for you to know is, that you know, that I know, I love you.
My mind has not been hijacked by sports. I dont need a tattoo or an earring to show you Im unique. I dont have to ride a Harley with no muffler to tell you what a tuff guy I am. I dont have to pose with an animal I just shot with my $4000 sniper rifle to prove capability, nor did I have to wear a patch on my sleeve (military) to obtain honor. These are just some of the myths of life that men subscribe to and that some women fall for.
Im fit, eat healthy, dont feel my age. Im attracted to women 55-up who are/feel the same, petite/slim athletic, as I am small bone and only weigh 140.
Ive seen some womens profiles, they ask, "where are all the real men at?" I had 2 paragraphs where I made lite of that, joked about it. I deleted them. I implied that if a male couldnt build things, fix things, do things with his hands, he wasnt a "real man." I could see how that might look judgemental. "Real man" is subjective & is different than being a "real human being." There was a man I met who couldnt do those things with his hands but was a true human being, a man I admired greatly. Its more valuable to be a true human being than a real man or woman for that matter. But its almost as if they cross back and forth with each other, real man/woman & a true human being.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch...
1970, out of high school at 17. Thought about the Marines. They said it was a chance to have honor, Vietnam. I passed. Didnt think killing people was a way to acquire that. Then there was a T.V. commercial that said they had the flavor I was looking for! All I had to do was...COME TO MARLBORO COUNTRY! So I did - go - to that place. I thought their flavor tasted like yuk, I liked the cowboy part tho. If I couldnt ride it, rope it, smoke it, shoot it, or eat it with my pancakes, I had no use for it. We were up before daylight, didnt get back till after dark. After awhile, I dis-remembered what the color my truck was. I did learn tho, just as in life, its easier to ride the horse in the direction its going! But thank you, no. I learned to be a carpenter.
A carpenter was watching me work once. He said, "for a guy who lives in his truck you sure are particular." I am. I believe in doing things well, with purpose, intention. If I had a construction business, my card would say, "I dont do it for the money, its just that when I do it, people give me money."
I live a nomadic life. I live like I live as Im single. Single, alone & free is better than single, alone & stuck. Until I find someone, thats the way I roll. Things can change afterwards. Im not rich, just simple. Id rather you be poor than own your home. I have been alone most of my life whether its been my fault or by design, I dunno. But unbeknownst to me, I used that to turn inward. I once was a redneck, tobacco chewing cowboy, last winter I met with a shaman.
I have had miracles in my life I cant deny so Im spiritual but not religious. I believe in a one God power. Its a mystery for sure. I read no books. I figure things out for myself or with you too! I have also seen evil, just like in the movies. Mostly what I know is, its better for me to be a good person than a not so good person.
I was once in the house of an international star, I was delivering furniture. Upon leaving I asked him for a drink of water as my throat was sore. He invited me into the kitchen where his wife was making supper. We talked a bit. I think he was appreciative that I only saw him as one who could give me a drink of water & not his stardom (un-approachable). I was impressed by his humanness. See how that works? Im not typically impressed by things that typically impress.
My definition of lonely is: the inability or unavailability to have an avenue for self expression. Isnt that the essence of life, to self express? Applies to everyone, knows no bounds, always looks good on you! :-)
Just as the ocean needs the shore to define it, so too we need each other to define our lives. Truth is, we need people. Think Im wrong? Go live on an island in Alaska by yourself for 5 months. I did, as a caretaker. Most wouldnt last 2 weeks alone. You have to be tuff in the head to do that, secure with yourself, confident. I have enuff confidence to confidently say, in some areas of life I have no confidence. Now thats confidence! To know what you dont yet know, to acknowledge it, bypass your EGO. COLLECT THAT $200! Monopoly! You can live without anyone tho. Those country/western songs about, "baby dont go, cause I cant live without you, just another myth.
Its never about the other person when an issue or a problem arises in a relationship as we are context creators. Its always good when its good. The trick is to have it be OK when its not. Whether its your boss or the one you love, if you dont put the cap back on the toothpaste & that bugs me, thats my problem, you are just being you. Things must first be the way they are before they can be different. The relationship we need first is the one with ourselves. Its not compromising nor tolerating. There must be space. And if you find yourself still waiting for the time your pardner will finally put the toothpaste cap back on or will be different like you want, then you've yet to fully let them be the way they are. To just simply allow them to be. Its in the allowing that the real relationship lives. Its not suppose to be a, Im right & you are wrong world or only a world of agreement, thats boring. It should be a world of allowing. To allow is to create space.