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Daniel, a  Vegetarian in Big Sky Daniel
is a 68 year old, spiritual male.
Living in Big Sky, montana
Vegetarian diet.

RELATIONSHIPS: Its the story underneath the story thats the real story. Do you listen for that when talking with people, the unspoken word, the heart of the matter?

Sometimes I feel like those guys you see holding the cardboard signs down at Walmart, just sadness. Some might be scammers but others have a story. (the unspoken word) A sadness God cant even take away & Ive been touched by the hand of God many times. Everyone is told to put on their happy face here. Me, I just call a spade a spade. Less of course I trip over one in the dark, then it goes back to being an Eff-ing shovel! Oww, that hurt! I wondered where that shovel of mine got off to.

Ive learned, people dont come to one another for answers to their problems or situation, they come for understanding. A book, a video, a Ouija board (YIKES!) can give you answers but only a human heart can give that compassionate understanding. I put the sadness part in intentionally. Did it throw you for a loop? Do you know what it means to create a context of well being in a relation in-spite of the situation or only look at the content, get triggered & react?

How many guys could: take a pile of lumber & build you a house, put your car in the garage & fix the brakes, go in the kitchen & make supper, (yes, I washed my hands first) build a fire in the fireplace W/O matches, get out his acoustic guitar & entertain you awhile, then sit with you on the sofa & talk about something besides sports?

To which you might reply: I already have a house, car is new, brakes are fine. Id rather eat out. I dont have a fireplace. I prefer loud electric rock & roll. I do have a sofa so you got me with that one, but I happen to love talking about sports! Houza bout them Yankees last night, eh?

No match there.

My mind has not been hijacked by sports. I dont need a tattoo or an earring to show you Im unique. I dont have to ride a Harley with no muffler to tell you what a tuff guy I am. I dont have to pose with an animal I just shot with my $4000 sniper rifle to prove capability, nor did I have to wear a patch on my sleeve (military) to obtain honor. These are just some of the ego driven myths of life that men subscribe to & that some women fall for.

What makes your nose tingle, your lip quiver? What do you want the rest of your life to look like? Can you make the distinction between knowing something about yourself vs. noticing something about yourself, (thats enlightenment, where it begins) & intention vs. desire? (theres a difference)
Too much comfort, the predictability, the routines in our lives, kills the human spirit. We are first spiritual beings, then human beings, then gender.

If you know where you are going, how you are going to get there, what you are going to do when you get there, when you're coming back, thats not an adventure, thats a vacation, more predictability.

Can you explain this? I love you & I know it. What I want for you to know is, that you know, that I know, I love you.

Im fit, eat healthy, dont feel my age. Im attracted to women 56 up who are/feel the same, petite/slim athletic, that means 130 lbs or less, as I am small bone & only weigh 140. Calm & centerd would be good too!

On some women's profiles they ask, "Where are all the real men at?" I had 2 paragraphs about that, I deleted them. I implied that if a male couldnt build things or use his hands, he wasnt a real man. Real man is subjective & is different than being a real human being. There was a man I met who couldnt do those things with his hands but who was a true human being. Isnt there more value in being a true human being than being a real man, or woman for that matter? But its almost as if they cross back & forth with each other, real man/woman & true human being. 

Meanwhile, back at the ranch...

1970, out of school at 17, on my own, thrown to the wolves, what to do? The Marines? They said it was a chance to have honor, Vietnam. I passed, didnt think killing people was a way to acquire that. Then there was a T.V. commercial that said they had the flavor I was looking for! All I had to do was...COME TO MARLBORO COUNTRY!

So I did - go - to that place. I thought their flavor tasted like yuk, I liked the cowboy part tho. If I couldnt ride it, rope it, smoke it, shoot it, or eat it with my pancakes, I had no use for it. We were up before daylight, didnt get back till after dark. After awhile, I dis-remembered what the color my truck was, all for $15 a day, 1974. I did learn tho, its easier to ride the horse in the direction its going! Oww, that hurts! (again) Heh horse! Come back here. Damn!

As a kid I thought a cowboy was a mans-man. Its romantic right? All that "gittalong little doggie" stuff. But at the end of the day it comes down to an animals pain, then its death, just a carcass.There, up there, hanging from a hook in a refer. Not so romantic now, is it? See how myths of life unfold when you look for them? This is a soft example of what I mean when I say, this world is a lie.

I learned to be a carpenter.

I live a nomadic life. I live like I live as Im single. Single, alone & free, trumps, single, alone & stuck. Until I find her, thats the way I roll, things can change afterwards or not. Im not about to go down to Home Depot, put on a little orange apron & with a shirt pocket full of pens, majic markers & other office supplies, sell linoleum for the rest of my life to give the apperance that Im stable. Im stable where it matters. I have been taking care of myself since I was 17, I can hack it. Tho I still cant seem to get my whites looking their whitest like they do on T.V. Can you help me out a little bit there? 

I have had miracles in my life I cant deny so Im spiritual but not religious. Not water into wine, better. Besides, I dont drink, thanks anyways Jesus. But if you could turn that pitcher of water into a plate of chewy oatmeal raisin cookies, now that would be a trick! I believe in a one God power but as time goes, the less I need answers, just trust & do. Trusting God, trumps loving God
as its harder to trust, than to love.  (just like people, relationships)

I was once in the house of an international star, I was delivering furniture. Upon leaving I asked him for a drink of water as my throat was sore. He invited me into the kitchen where his wife was making supper. We talked a bit. I think he was appreciative that I only saw him as one who could give me a drink of water & not his stardom (un-approachable). I was impressed by his human-ness. Im not typically impressed by things that typically impress. 

My definition of lonely is: the inability or unavailability to have an avenue for self expression. Isnt that the essence of life, to self express? Applies to everyone, knows no bounds, always looks good on you! :-)

As the ocean needs the shore to define it, so too we need each other to define our lives. Think Im wrong? Go live on an island in Alaska by YOURSELF for 5 months, I did as a caretaker. You'll see. Most wouldnt last 2 weeks alone. No one is there to buy into your act. Theres just you & the other you, the one you didnt even know existed!


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